So here it is:
Your sex issues are yours. Nobody else is responsible. If you want to look at porn, or sleep around, or stare at women/ men in the gym, you don't get to blame your wife or your husband or their hairy back or big rear end. The problem is you. You.
Free will is really a bugger. But it is real. So please don't put your fail on somebody else's shoulders. Time to own up, face the music you're playing, stop acting like a petulant child, etc etc.
But here is the good news: We all fail. It is a universal constant of humanity. We all think or act on thoughts that we should not to whatever degree. Because of us, ourselves, we are less than we had once hoped. We are less than we are capable of.
And there is Someone who can help, who can genuinely transform the way you think, the way you act, remove this blight that is cancer to your soul from within yourself. But only if you are willing to admit your inadequacy and turn your eyes and mind and heart to Him.
So stop blaming your spouse, your friends, or your parents for what you are doing today.
Decide how you want to live. Heck, it's your life, after all. You are the only one who can do a thing about it.