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Is Anger Always Wrong?

11/13/2012

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“I AM MOVING THEM,” I barked!   I yelled loud...  in the front yard...  at 7 AM ... on a Sunday morning.   

     I would love my neighbors to come to church.  Our church is a friendly and encouraging place with kind and sincere leaders.  But that morning you couldn’t tell by how I acted.  I got angry over literally nothing.   

     All I had to do was move the speakers as we were loading up for worship early one Sunday morning.  All I had to offer was a strong back and an ounce of humility.  But instead, I wanted to do it my way, and even the fact that I had no knowledge of what the right way was did not keep me from getting angry. 

     Anger is everywhere.  Anger is hollering from the bleachers at youth sports.  It’s on cable news.  It’s inside the walls of our nice homes.  It is always stuck in traffic.  And it is filling up the local law enforcement and court system.  Anger comes out of people like us, almost everywhere we go. 

     Anger is an emotional response to not getting our way.  When we snap, rant, or  unload, we are responding to not getting our way.  

     Anger always reveals what we value, what we desire, and the way we want the world to be.  Anger, like our calendar, and like our bank statements, communicates what we value, and who we really are.  That Sunday morning my anger revealed that I have a hard time accepting the simplest instructions, that I want to do things my way, even when it is obvious I don’t know what that is.  So apparently, I value being a know it all.  My anger revealed a dark, stubborn side in me.    

     Often, in the name of religion, we are told to stifle our anger.  Some traditions speak of anger as one of the “seven deadly sins.”  While I agree that we can, and often do, respond emotionally to some of the most petty things, I also know that anger can be the most righteous response to a situation.  Anger is not always wrong.

     I know this because Jesus got angry.  One day he walked into the temple courtyard and completely blew his top.  The public gathering area to enter worship had been run over by con artists who sold sin-removing sacrificial animals and “clean” monetary offerings at ridiculously inflated prices.  Jesus hated seeing the people swindled as they tried to move towards God.  

     So Jesus got angry.  He created a whip of cords, and he drove out the money changers and let the sacrificial animals run free. Jesus‘ anger revealed what he valued; he valued people being able to access a relationship with God. (For a great video of this story go to YOUTUBE and search Jesus and Money Changers.  It is the first video to pop up; it is two minutes long.)    

     Take 30 seconds, and reflect on the last time you got angry (chances are you won’t have to think back too far).  Was it something petty or something life defining?  How did you not get your way?  What does your anger say that you value?  Does what you value need to be reconsidered?  Do not hide behind empty statements like “I can’t help it” or “I don’t know where that came from.”  Allow God to dig below the surface. 

     Anger is not always wrong, but anger does always reveal what we really value.     



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It is us.

8/25/2012

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Election season brings out a whole bunch of negativity.  We fight and fret and wonder how anyone could conceivably take the position opposite ours.  But what is most troubling is that we rarely lump ourselves into the category of 'the problem'.  The problem - the economy, job-loss, war, racism...heck any problem at all - it is us.

We are selfish and demanding.  We want more goods for less cost.  We are angered by the price at the pump.  We love convenience.  We hate to wait.  We hate to give away what is 'ours.'  We're too lazy to hunt down the data.  We like to fight a good fight.  We even like to fight a bad fight. 

I am not saying any of that is the end of the world in and of itself.  But let's stop pretending it's because of some other guy.

The problem is us...  all of us...  each of us.   

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Words Matter in Times of Tragedy

6/6/2012

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Monday in Oswego three teenagers were killed in a fatal car crash on 126.  In a moment, everything changed for them, everything changed for their families, and everything changed for the man driving the truck who survives.  I have spent my life as a minister trying to muster up words of comfort in situations where there are no good words.  I officiated my first funeral back when 21 years old; the service was for a 34 year old mother of four who died of cancer one year after I met her.  I have spent my life trying to reconcile Who I know to be a God of Love with the pain and grief of a motherless 5 year old and her sisters and brothers.  Anything I have ever said that was helpful in accomplishing this is only a gift from God.  Me?  I never know what to say.

But let me be clear, I do know what not to say.

Do not say, “this was God’s will.”  For all the traffic this phrase generates you would think it would have a central place in scripture.  This phrase is often referenced as though random tragedy is divinely ordained, but no such example of God’s will exists in the life and teaching of Jesus...or in the entire New Testament for that matter.  So I can say with no reservation, it is never the will of God to kill three teenagers in car wreck.  I do not assume my readers are Christians, but for those who are, please remember ours is a faith of resurrection.  God has destroyed death as the final answer and is forever on the side of life and love - in fact, God IS life and love.  And that love is stronger than anything else in this world.       

Do not say, “this could have been avoided if...”  Humans like me and like you make mistakes all the time.  I admit, I have texted while I 

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Adultery, Judgement, Death and Truth

4/13/2012

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The religious leaders thought they had set the perfect trap.  They had found a woman in the ACT of adultery, and brought her to Jesus.  The Jewish law was explicit - the penalty was death (Deut 22:22).  (Although the law called for both parties to be put to death - where was the man who had perpetrated the same?)  But the Roman law was looming in tension to the Jewish law; no death sentences could be carried out by the Jews upon penalty of death from the Roman occupiers.  If Jesus chose to follow the law of Moses, he would be accused by the Romans and likely killed.  He had already stated He had not come to abolish even a portion of the Jewish Law, but to fulfill it.  The religious leaders had failed repeatedly to arrest Him themselves, now they could just let this situation play out and let the Romans take over the dirty work of killing Jesus.

But when confronted, Jesus assumed a submissive posture, going low, bending to the ground.  Then He does the unthinkable; He inverts the situation to make it about the heart of each and every individual.  He asks the crowd a simple question, that only they can answer internally, giving them the green light to kill the woman as their law allows IF they admit the impossible - true perfection - that they have never sinned themselves.  And none can.  In the flash of a moment, He requires them to achieve introspective repentance, acknowledgement of sin, and in that truth, grace prevails.   In fact, it is only in fullness of truth that grace for each is acknowledged honestly as necessary.

After the crowd disperses, in their final conversation, the woman and Jesus reveal much.   Everyone misses the mark, says Jesus:  "Is there no one here to judge you?"   She replies, "No one, Master" using the Greek, kyrie, translated throughout the New Testament as "Lord", a term that denotes that she has completely devoted herself to him, a full confession of faith and belonging.  Acknowledging her statement of faith He replies, "Then I do not judge you either." He says,  "Go your way, but do not sin again."  Grace...surrender...freedom...truth.  He offers no threat, no judgement, and no condemnation.  She has sinned, everyone has sinned, He has intervened, she has believed.  He has forgiven her, and He has asked her to live better.

As believers we must proceed humbly, to serve the broken, out of the knowledge that we too have been broken and still are broken.   Jesus is as available for each person to approach personally, internally, as He is for us who have already appealed to Him.  And we can follow his example to offer opportunities to encourage people to pursue truth and grace - not through statements of judgement - but through gentle and honest examining of their own experience, their own heart:
   
"Is your life where you want it to be?"  

"Are you teaching your kids what love is?"   

"Are you good with your relationship with God?"
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Vanilla Ice & a Life of Faith

4/3/2012

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              I almost broke the chart when I took the Myers-Briggs Personality Test. The people administrating the test had never seen an introvert so far off the scale.  I was taking the test as part of a professional assessment for my ordination process, and I was floored when I saw the results.  I assumed to do the work of ministry I had studied and committed myself to, I needed to adopt the personality of a used car salesman: "What is it going to take for me to put you in this church today?"  But that guy just wasn't me.

The truth is, I am an introvert.  I would rather read for an hour than talk for an hour.  I have a few close friends.  I am NEVER the life of the party (unless I get the opportunity to karaoke Vanilla Ice's "Ice, Ice Baby").  For years I tried to overcome this, to become someone I was not.  I tried small talk and would never let conversations die.  I acted the part that I thought an extroverted pastor should play in a social setting.  To put it politely, I was awkwardness on steroids.  It took years for me to embrace who I am really am; an introvert who knows how to talk to large crowds and share Jesus with people whenever I get the opportunity.  

You and I are uniquely created.  Some of us are introverts, other extroverts.  Some of us are silly and others are serious.  The same way that we embrace our height or the shape of our face as an obvious feature God gave us, we would do well to embrace the gifts of our personality.  John Ortberg has written in his book “The Me I Want to Be,” that life's highest aim is to become who God made each of us to be.  Rather than trying to force ourselves to be someone we are not, faith can allow us to embrace and develop who God made us to be.  In doing so, we will discover gifts that flow from the design of our personality, talents, and God-given capacities. God created us to be us...with love, on purpose.  Trying to force yourself to be someone you are not only creates dysfunction and heartache. 

In a recent article in the Guardian, a nurse to the dying kept track of the most frequently vocalized regrets of the patients.  First and most common was, "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." 

You and I are not an accident.  Yet the longer we play a part that was not written for us, the longer we miss out on the role where we can truly shine as we are created.  And life is not meant to be a charade, a pretense.  Reflecting on this makes me want to stand and shout “EMBRACE WHO GOD MADE YOU TO BE!”  But that would be a very extroverted thing to do.


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Deep, Dark and Dirty

1/19/2012

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Secrets are a bugger.  Everybody has them.  But I have never heard someone say, "I am just so thankful for all the things I hide about myself."

We keep secrets to protect not who we really are, but to protect who we pretend to be. 

It takes a lot of courage to deal in honesty.  It is hard to face truth and grant forgiveness and acceptance.  It is hard to not place the fear judgement over the love of truth. 

And there is the rub.


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Tebow, Tebow, Tebow

1/17/2012

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Ok so I don't actually think I am going to write about Tebow.  Frankly, I am annoyed with the amount of Christian airtime that has been taken up by detailed, laborious explanations of why he sucks, why his faith is oppressive...yada, yada, point, counterpoint...blaaaaah. 

AND YET if the alternative (as a cursory look around the professional sporting ranks seems to imply) is adultery, crime (mostly violent), and at the minimum rampant egoism...Tebow seems like a nice change of pace.

And that's the rub, isn't it?  He has gotten so much attention because he is the only guy we've ever seen in that venue that expresses his beliefs like he does.  He has changed the dialogue.  It's really shaken up the dirtbag status quo.

Good for Tebow.


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Freedom & real life

1/14/2012

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Freedom, can't live with it, can't live without it.

Here it is:  You are free to pick your nose at the intersection, log on to late night computer porn... and/ or give 40% of your income to the people working on ending AIDS in Africa. 

You are free to die after living a meaningless, self-indulgent life where nothing but your latest desire was satisfied... or you are free to embark on a life of serving the poor of India as they die ala Mother Theresa. 

And anywhere on that scale between the two.  You just, well, get to choose.

Most of the time this adds up to far less significant issues like, are you gonna eat another donut?  Do you open the door for that man behind you even though it is cold out and that causes you to wait 3 seconds more at the door?  Do you pick up the wrapper on the ground, or drop your own next to it?  Do you take a second look at the man or woman in line at the grocery store because you like what you see?   Do you take the close parking spot or do you walk another 20 yards and leave the good one for the next guy...

Put all that together - a few average moments on earth -  and you either get to be a guy who is healthy, conscientious, faithful, and self-sacrificing....

OR you are a guy who is unhealthy, brusque, consumptive, pervy and aggressive.

And that, my friends, is freedom.
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Dieting and the Christian life.

1/13/2012

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Soooo it is a new year, and I am again on the ol' diet.  I'm not really a dieter, but every now and then I decide to go healthy and give up sugars.  I inevitably feel better and also <perk> look better.

Now here is the rub: I have a 12 year old son.  With a kid that age, there are ALWAYS treats around, today's addition being some delicious looking Entenmen's donuts.  I like donuts.  I don't feel great when I eat them, but they are TASTY and really fun to eat.  Ya.

Ironically, the most reliable predicter of whether one will gain weight in the future is the simple question, have you been on a diet in the last decade?  If the answer is YES, then statistically one is likely to gain weight.  You read that right, being on a diet makes you MORE likely to gain weight.  Not real inspiring for the health-conscious.

So as I am avoiding the donuts, even knowing that by doing so I am pretty well guarunteed to be elbow deep in them in the not to distant future, it gets me thinking about living righteously and temptation.  We sure feel better when we avoid negative input (excess spending, lust, over-use of alcohol, etc.)  BUT is it like dieting, where our efforts towards avoidance result in inevitable indulgence?  Maybe so if we look at the meteoric rise and fall of many prominant Christians.

Is this why the Bible is so full of partying?  (Dont be shocked; if you bothered to read it you'd find out it's there.)

Hmmm... conclusion:  donuts = proof God wants us to have fun. 
Ah well, I'm still not gonna eat one.
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What is Hell?

1/12/2012

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Since a snowstorm is raging, I thought it would be a nice time to reflect on a hotter target, say...hell.

Hell is a polarizing and often overly simplified aspect of Biblical Christianity.  

First it is referred to in sketchy contexts Biblically.  Certainly it has been fictionalized and expounded upon much more drammatically than its Biblical existence & description supports.  Second, it feeds into the unfortunate reality that we Christians do like tidy and devastating judgement to fall on others, don't we?  And how better to make our enemies pay than to imagine them floundering in constant fire?  (We'll get into the Bible of hell another time.  It will suprise some of you.)

The reality of hell is, like most eternal matters, uncertain and unknowable...until we are dead and it is too late to be pursuaded.  But it can be better understood by reflecting on God, Who God is, and therefor what God is not.

God is love, life, light, resurrection (fresh starts/ forgiveness) and truth...an ever-present counselor.  In all areas of living (and post-living) that we pursue those attributes of God, we are living in God's goodness and are likely experiencing characteristics similar to that of heaven. 

Conversely, despair, lonliness, the absence of relationship, darkness, absolute shame, death, and lies are not God and are therefor hellish whether it happens before or after death.  As I type that list I wonder if the much-touted fire was ever even a useful exaggeration as that all sounds completely miserable. 

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