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Is Anger Always Wrong?

11/13/2012

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“I AM MOVING THEM,” I barked!   I yelled loud...  in the front yard...  at 7 AM ... on a Sunday morning.   

     I would love my neighbors to come to church.  Our church is a friendly and encouraging place with kind and sincere leaders.  But that morning you couldn’t tell by how I acted.  I got angry over literally nothing.   

     All I had to do was move the speakers as we were loading up for worship early one Sunday morning.  All I had to offer was a strong back and an ounce of humility.  But instead, I wanted to do it my way, and even the fact that I had no knowledge of what the right way was did not keep me from getting angry. 

     Anger is everywhere.  Anger is hollering from the bleachers at youth sports.  It’s on cable news.  It’s inside the walls of our nice homes.  It is always stuck in traffic.  And it is filling up the local law enforcement and court system.  Anger comes out of people like us, almost everywhere we go. 

     Anger is an emotional response to not getting our way.  When we snap, rant, or  unload, we are responding to not getting our way.  

     Anger always reveals what we value, what we desire, and the way we want the world to be.  Anger, like our calendar, and like our bank statements, communicates what we value, and who we really are.  That Sunday morning my anger revealed that I have a hard time accepting the simplest instructions, that I want to do things my way, even when it is obvious I don’t know what that is.  So apparently, I value being a know it all.  My anger revealed a dark, stubborn side in me.    

     Often, in the name of religion, we are told to stifle our anger.  Some traditions speak of anger as one of the “seven deadly sins.”  While I agree that we can, and often do, respond emotionally to some of the most petty things, I also know that anger can be the most righteous response to a situation.  Anger is not always wrong.

     I know this because Jesus got angry.  One day he walked into the temple courtyard and completely blew his top.  The public gathering area to enter worship had been run over by con artists who sold sin-removing sacrificial animals and “clean” monetary offerings at ridiculously inflated prices.  Jesus hated seeing the people swindled as they tried to move towards God.  

     So Jesus got angry.  He created a whip of cords, and he drove out the money changers and let the sacrificial animals run free. Jesus‘ anger revealed what he valued; he valued people being able to access a relationship with God. (For a great video of this story go to YOUTUBE and search Jesus and Money Changers.  It is the first video to pop up; it is two minutes long.)    

     Take 30 seconds, and reflect on the last time you got angry (chances are you won’t have to think back too far).  Was it something petty or something life defining?  How did you not get your way?  What does your anger say that you value?  Does what you value need to be reconsidered?  Do not hide behind empty statements like “I can’t help it” or “I don’t know where that came from.”  Allow God to dig below the surface. 

     Anger is not always wrong, but anger does always reveal what we really value.     



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Parenting & Freedom: Sheltering Your Child

8/15/2012

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You will find VERY few posts on here regarding parenting advice.  Frankly, regardless of the number of initials behind your name, you don't know how it has all gone until your child is somewhere around 35 years old.  Only then can an honest assessment be made.  

BUT here is a one tidbit of cautionary advice: there is a difference between 'sheltering' and 'constraining'.  

See this God of ours made us free.  Freedom is something we must contend with as humans, as individuals, and as parents.  Our children are about to live totally free.  We have a few years to prepare them to contend with that reality.  

I see a lot of kids the same age as my son who have fewer privileges, less access to the things associated with modern life (the internet, etc) and more fear-based parental presence.

We often use the word 'sheltered' to describe these kids, but that is not the right description.  Shelter is a beautiful concept, Biblically.  God uses it 

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Oswego District 308 Is At It Again

8/10/2012

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 I stopped watching the news years ago; too many negative stories and too many foolish commentators.  I always wondered why news organizations did not deliver what people said they wanted, positive stories about people doing positive things.  While the world is obviously full of violence and horror, it is also full of goodness and regular blessings.  Each day people do far more good than evil but the headlines do not reflect that truth. 

            I have come to see why news outlets carry the sensational over the sentimental: that is what people want.  Are people more likely to rubber neck in traffic at a terrible accident or a kid’s lemonade stand?  Will we listen to the latest story on violence in Chicago or the latest work of the local Cub Scout Troop?  There are exceptions to this rule of course, but people like you and me, are the reason the news is what it is. 

            No local topic has generated as much friction as the change of leadership in the Oswego 308 School District.  I love living in Oswego and pray for our school district daily.  Public school leadership can literally be a thankless job.  Yet 308 seems to have wrestled with many issues publicly regarding staff, buildings, and funding. 

            So to go against the tide, I wanted to share some good news.  I wanted to highlight our experience with Oswego 308 where the folks can’t be thanked enough, commended enough, and written about warmly enough.  While our schools have problems, they also have amazing people who teach, clean, service, lead and listen, and I want to take this opportunity to share our experience.   

              Our new church, Big Life Community Church, meets at Oswego East High School.  Ken Lesley is a building manager at Oswego East.   From the moment we approached the school about leasing space, and met with Ken to talk it over, Ken has been a pillar of graciousness and intentional service.  He and his staff see that the entire experience is arranged beautifully and with care.  They love doing their job and have helped our new church above and beyond all the way.

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Words Matter in Times of Tragedy

6/6/2012

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Monday in Oswego three teenagers were killed in a fatal car crash on 126.  In a moment, everything changed for them, everything changed for their families, and everything changed for the man driving the truck who survives.  I have spent my life as a minister trying to muster up words of comfort in situations where there are no good words.  I officiated my first funeral back when 21 years old; the service was for a 34 year old mother of four who died of cancer one year after I met her.  I have spent my life trying to reconcile Who I know to be a God of Love with the pain and grief of a motherless 5 year old and her sisters and brothers.  Anything I have ever said that was helpful in accomplishing this is only a gift from God.  Me?  I never know what to say.

But let me be clear, I do know what not to say.

Do not say, “this was God’s will.”  For all the traffic this phrase generates you would think it would have a central place in scripture.  This phrase is often referenced as though random tragedy is divinely ordained, but no such example of God’s will exists in the life and teaching of Jesus...or in the entire New Testament for that matter.  So I can say with no reservation, it is never the will of God to kill three teenagers in car wreck.  I do not assume my readers are Christians, but for those who are, please remember ours is a faith of resurrection.  God has destroyed death as the final answer and is forever on the side of life and love - in fact, God IS life and love.  And that love is stronger than anything else in this world.       

Do not say, “this could have been avoided if...”  Humans like me and like you make mistakes all the time.  I admit, I have texted while I 

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Fair or Right?

3/12/2012

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Remember school food?  Rectangle pieces of pizza, mystery tenderloins, and mixed fruit with one cherry?  I hated school food, with one exception: the cookies.  The elementary school I attended growing up in Iowa had the best cookies.  Oatmeal cookies with some government milk made for a good dessert. 

At the end of the serving line always stood an older woman, wearing plastic gloves, handing out one cookie per student.  I would beg her- beg her - to let me have two cookies.  There were always extras, always students who for some reason didn’t want a cookie.  I would explain, rationalize, and insist that giving me two cookies would not end the world.  Yet she would always say the same thing,  "If I do it for you, I have to do it for everyone." 

We all know that is not true.  She could have just done it for me and me alone.  She could have just given an extra cookie to the kids who asked politely.  But she fell back on what so many people say - I can’t do it for everyone, so I won’t do it for you.  While that might work handing out cookies, it is a terrible philosophy of life. 

We know that life is not fair.  So do not strive to be fair.  Strive to do what is right, in the moment you are in.  If a neighbor is hungry, don’t tell them that since you can't feed the whole world you won’t feed them.  Feed them.  If a friend needs a place to crash for a day to work through his marriage don't tell him he can’t because if you did it for him you would have to do it for everyone.  Be compassionate to the person in front of you.  Just because I cannot share my faith with the world does not mean I ought not witness to some Good News to the person I see everyone morning at Starbucks. 

I think of Jesus healing the blind and raising the dead.  He did not let the endless mass of human need prevent him from ministry to the person in front of him.  And He did not do what was fair.  He did what was right.  And so should we.  

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Death/ Exiting the Tent

2/20/2012

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As I have mourned my grandfather this week, I have been reflecting a little more than normal on death.  The Bible repeatedly describes the body as a tent.  I remember camping as a kid and imagining all the ghouls and goblins on the dark outside of my tent.  One night my parent came up to the tent from the outside, and I could not really perceive that they were there until they unzipped the door.  I wonder how analogous this is to the human experience of death?  Certainly we cannot see much of the other side.  Yet it is also an undeniable aspect of humanity that we occasionally glimpse something that alludes to more that lies beyond.  We have devoted much literature to fantasy and speculation on this 'beyond.'  Even Biblical accounts are difficult to envision.  But if we stick to the tent metaphor, the 'beyond' is more vast and spectacular than the mortal.  

Recently I was talking with a lady that suffered a major aneurism and encountered death.  She had a supernatural experience during her event, possibly glimpsing something of the beyond.  What she experienced she described as overwhelming, saturating love.  And she saw Jesus.  It was a tremendously cool story.

Reminded me of this:


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Human Library - what a fantastic idea. Very pneu.

2/9/2012

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http://www.yongestreetmedia.ca/features/humanbooks1208.aspx

The concept is that you spend half an hour talking with someone diverse about their life.    The library "checks out" your time with the person of interest.  Well done, Toronto!



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How does God look at you?

1/27/2012

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God sees you as a little child. Innocent, curious, love-hungry.


And God sees you as a powerful individual, chock-full of largely untapped talent & skill & energy & relationships.

God looks at you with intense and hopeful love.


What does God not see in you?  


All the bad decisions.


Why?  


Honestly, I don't have a clue.  I keep track of all the stupid things I and everyone else around me has ever done.  They call this God-quality "grace."  It is simultaneously one of the most cliche terms in "Christian-speak" while being one of the hardest concepts to understand.  All I know is I like it.  It's Jesus. 
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Deep, Dark and Dirty

1/19/2012

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Secrets are a bugger.  Everybody has them.  But I have never heard someone say, "I am just so thankful for all the things I hide about myself."

We keep secrets to protect not who we really are, but to protect who we pretend to be. 

It takes a lot of courage to deal in honesty.  It is hard to face truth and grant forgiveness and acceptance.  It is hard to not place the fear judgement over the love of truth. 

And there is the rub.


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What is Hell?

1/12/2012

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Since a snowstorm is raging, I thought it would be a nice time to reflect on a hotter target, say...hell.

Hell is a polarizing and often overly simplified aspect of Biblical Christianity.  

First it is referred to in sketchy contexts Biblically.  Certainly it has been fictionalized and expounded upon much more drammatically than its Biblical existence & description supports.  Second, it feeds into the unfortunate reality that we Christians do like tidy and devastating judgement to fall on others, don't we?  And how better to make our enemies pay than to imagine them floundering in constant fire?  (We'll get into the Bible of hell another time.  It will suprise some of you.)

The reality of hell is, like most eternal matters, uncertain and unknowable...until we are dead and it is too late to be pursuaded.  But it can be better understood by reflecting on God, Who God is, and therefor what God is not.

God is love, life, light, resurrection (fresh starts/ forgiveness) and truth...an ever-present counselor.  In all areas of living (and post-living) that we pursue those attributes of God, we are living in God's goodness and are likely experiencing characteristics similar to that of heaven. 

Conversely, despair, lonliness, the absence of relationship, darkness, absolute shame, death, and lies are not God and are therefor hellish whether it happens before or after death.  As I type that list I wonder if the much-touted fire was ever even a useful exaggeration as that all sounds completely miserable. 

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