You will find VERY few posts on here regarding parenting advice. Frankly, regardless of the number of initials behind your name, you don't know how it has all gone until your child is somewhere around 35 years old. Only then can an honest assessment be made.
BUT here is a one tidbit of cautionary advice: there is a difference between 'sheltering' and 'constraining'.
See this God of ours made us free. Freedom is something we must contend with as humans, as individuals, and as parents. Our children are about to live totally free. We have a few years to prepare them to contend with that reality.
I see a lot of kids the same age as my son who have fewer privileges, less access to the things associated with modern life (the internet, etc) and more fear-based parental presence.
We often use the word 'sheltered' to describe these kids, but that is not the right description. Shelter is a beautiful concept, Biblically. God uses it
BUT here is a one tidbit of cautionary advice: there is a difference between 'sheltering' and 'constraining'.
See this God of ours made us free. Freedom is something we must contend with as humans, as individuals, and as parents. Our children are about to live totally free. We have a few years to prepare them to contend with that reality.
I see a lot of kids the same age as my son who have fewer privileges, less access to the things associated with modern life (the internet, etc) and more fear-based parental presence.
We often use the word 'sheltered' to describe these kids, but that is not the right description. Shelter is a beautiful concept, Biblically. God uses it
frequently to describe a place of respite, rest from that which assails, safety from all that comes against. But it is always voluntary. We are free to leave shelter and free to seek it. God invites us (over and over again) to seek shelter in Him...but we are free to disobey. And we all do.
What well-meaning parents live out is often the opposite of shelter - constraint. Constraint is limitation, control, and denial of freedom. It prevents choice, in the hope that a pattern of prevention leads to the very thing it prevents...good decision making.
This much I know, people ALWAYS rebel against constraint and seek shelter. See freedom is how we are created - it is IN US in such a fundamental God-made kind of way, that we will choose freedom over constraint even if that constraint is real safety and the freedom is destructive life choices. But freedom does not have to be destructive. Truly free people will choose shelter, they will choose good safe ways. Because it is a wise and good choice - also fully of God, made into who we are.
Now I know this goes to the heart of sin, our very human nature, God's nature, reality... that is the point.
To provide a child with the concept of shelter, they have to know what the storms outside are. They have to be aware of the myriad of choices in front of them, and they have to be shown the benefits of seeking shelter. They have to face freedom, and choose to not be destroyed by it.
This is a lot to ask of a kid, but freedom is racing at them regardless of whether we like it or not. There is nothing new under the sun, and a lot of what is under the sun is pretty ugly stuff. As of that fateful day they go off to college, or go into the service, or step out of your full-time parenting presence, are they going to be prepared for what they encounter? Are they going to be able to choose shelter? Or are they set up to fail by never having seen what the real world offers and decided what was next?
Now make no mistake, I do not give my child complete freedom. I simply give freedom more than I would like to. When I want to choose constraint as a habit, I try to discipline myself to instead find a way to offer freedom. It seems to be good and Godly. It is not easy knowing your child will not choose the best for themselves, or seek your wisdom and love all the time. Nonetheless to allow them that freedom... sound familiar?
What well-meaning parents live out is often the opposite of shelter - constraint. Constraint is limitation, control, and denial of freedom. It prevents choice, in the hope that a pattern of prevention leads to the very thing it prevents...good decision making.
This much I know, people ALWAYS rebel against constraint and seek shelter. See freedom is how we are created - it is IN US in such a fundamental God-made kind of way, that we will choose freedom over constraint even if that constraint is real safety and the freedom is destructive life choices. But freedom does not have to be destructive. Truly free people will choose shelter, they will choose good safe ways. Because it is a wise and good choice - also fully of God, made into who we are.
Now I know this goes to the heart of sin, our very human nature, God's nature, reality... that is the point.
To provide a child with the concept of shelter, they have to know what the storms outside are. They have to be aware of the myriad of choices in front of them, and they have to be shown the benefits of seeking shelter. They have to face freedom, and choose to not be destroyed by it.
This is a lot to ask of a kid, but freedom is racing at them regardless of whether we like it or not. There is nothing new under the sun, and a lot of what is under the sun is pretty ugly stuff. As of that fateful day they go off to college, or go into the service, or step out of your full-time parenting presence, are they going to be prepared for what they encounter? Are they going to be able to choose shelter? Or are they set up to fail by never having seen what the real world offers and decided what was next?
Now make no mistake, I do not give my child complete freedom. I simply give freedom more than I would like to. When I want to choose constraint as a habit, I try to discipline myself to instead find a way to offer freedom. It seems to be good and Godly. It is not easy knowing your child will not choose the best for themselves, or seek your wisdom and love all the time. Nonetheless to allow them that freedom... sound familiar?